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[25 Mar 2005|12:24pm] |
new journal alert...
shhh_my_love
thats it peace
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| updatero |
[23 Mar 2005|08:10pm] |
im at jennifers..tonight is matthews 20th birthday.
its a surprise shhhhhhhhh
rob and grant had to rush to my apartment because a whore ruined the night.
pissed...
dont have much to do except sit and wait. haha
ummmmm
bobby...black bobby that is almost beat the hell out of the mexican....
i dont have much to say...
i think im going to make a new journal because this one pisses me off.,
it reminds me of old times...like the following
me trying to be jon jamiesons friend...knowing it wouldnt happpen..
me trying to be kats friend again.
me being angela smiths friend...which is weird.
roslynn'
me being homeless..
and lj fights that piss me off alot
so yes im making a new one.
so here goes my good by....
this will be a friends only journal so if you want to read anything in it get a journal or comment me to be added. im sick of he 17 year old kids drama....im done
me and brent are buddys again...im excited were going to forget everything and start off new. ok im going now bye bye
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT GRAFF I WUB YOU!!?
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[23 Mar 2005|08:01pm] |
whats up? no much?
i moved did i tell you guys?
glengarry park apartments....ok bye
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| frusterated |
[20 Mar 2005|01:08am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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ok this may be mean it may be nice or it just might now concern certian people.
im kind of pissed off because i set up 2 of my good friends...no names will be mentioned....ill make up new ones
marie and geroge
marie was having trouble with her now ex...and ummm yeah they broke up and i hooked up marie and george....marie has a hard time letting things go..or should i say people...this is what pisses me off...
marie and george have been together for like 2 or 3 weeks....steady going on...things are awesome between the two of them....
except for marie still sleeps in the sane bed as her ex...which is one of my friends...so we will name him..cronic
cronic is still in love with marie and she still loves him....
one day marie calls up george and says "hey honey do you think it would be ok if i take a shower with cronic"?
this made george very very upset..but george is to shy and doesnt want to ruin his relationship with marie because he loves her so much..to say.. no you cant your my girlfriend and that VERY VERY wrong and a horribley rude question to ask your new boyfriend.
i know that the two of them will be reading this and marie may be a little mad at me for this but im the only one who is going to say something because i always am...
you have an ex..the point of that is that he is your ex...you dont still kiss snuggle hug and sleep with him. your suppose to move on..marie i love you so much and your one of my best friends right now. but so is george and i would kill for him....your killing him...your taring him apart..and he will never say anything to you for the sake of your relationship...if you love george youll stop woth cronic....its unfair and a prettty mean thing to do to george because you know if rolls were reversed you would kick ass...ummmm...i dont know what else to say except that i seriously wanted to stop coming around because of this shit. its aggrivates me...and klaus..and sy....sy is my boyfriend.....i dont know marie....but i think you and george need to sit down and have a REAL discussion about things and you need to let certian people live their own lives you cant keep trying to stop him from being with other people...i know you dont want him to get hurt but cronic is a grown man and he knows what he wants...after all how much say did he have with you being with george? its not fair and your trying to control way to much...if you want you and i can talk this out in person to...but have no fear because of the "code names" no one knows who you are..except us...
thank you and have a good day.
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[19 Mar 2005|10:40pm] |
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mood |
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 recumbent |
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my dad is comming over tommorrow....yay...my sister him and i are going o eat speghetti...mmmm....i guess thats all...i found out that its impossible to loose my job...chad said i was the only one who knows what im doing...ha. i know i know i fuggin rock..yay..for mc d's...god im gay...
speaking of gay....
BRENT! stop commenting in my journal...i would block it and make this friends only...but my real friends...the ones who dont jack off in my presence read this....so im going to say this one last time....stop...stop now. we made a deal and it looks as if im the only one carring it through...i also said stay the hell away from my sister....you dont listen do you...i mean it brent for your own good. u have done this to me and her. it would be in your best intrest to stay the hell away from us both...no joke "brO"
anyway..i honestly would like it if the 16 and 17 year olds would put a stop to the live journal fights...thanks and have a good night. bye bye
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[17 Mar 2005|01:19am] |
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mood |
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 mmm giddy up yaayyyy haahhhhh |
] |
im at matts...grant..randy....rob...matt...jenny...and i are just sitting around...im listening to music..matts on xbox live...jenny and rob are ummmm...sitting together, grants playing world warcraft, randy is eating his finger nails...
im honestly done with brent...i love him...dmmit...awesome friend.,
but i cant deal with this stupid shit anymore...he is moving to caLI to start his new life..im so proud of him. and i hope he succeeds...ye.
im tired. sweaty and i wanna go home...
i got my eye brow peirced a week ago and i already have a collection of brow rings...yeaahhh haaawwww...haha. grant stole my belt buckle...tha fugin poon. its a spinner star haha. he loves it. i got it from pac sun. its ogt a light pink outline, dammit. i want it back...ill get him one. or just get myself a new one.
we have a 4 foot black light on our ceiling in the living room. and 318 stars on our walls...and 2 black light posters...i wish i could find a korn one....no luck...i know it wil come to me one day. jon davis...eah boooy. ummm....we have like 5 lava lamps on our bar...its pretty []D[][]V[][]D and i love our place. it rocks.
i found out danyell works at journeys and lacy is the manager. its sweet.
im in manager training right now at work and i need AMANDA ROSE to help me a little....
valerie and i were fighting but i think we are cool now.
jesse jon and i are kaaa-put
kats moving i hear...
i have gas
on a huge diet
get my car in a week
matts eating cork pops...hes funny.
i think this lap top is going to go out its feelin a little warm....
until next time
oravuah
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| wow |
[05 Mar 2005|12:11am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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IM UPSET?! i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i worked for 8 hours today and e didnt even ask how my day was...or anything..no hello kiss...not a damn thing. what did i get all day? a pack of ciggs. valerie is mad at me bacause im staying the night at matt and jens....because now that i moved out of ashton pines i wont see them as much. so im here with randy rob jenn junior nick the other valerie ben mikey...thats it...and the zo of animals.
i wish i knew who an old friend was ...because now im starting to feel all weird about it. i dont get it.
i have been going to school and working a lot latley....we moved finally into glengarry park apartments....ashton pines is so much bigger....damn...but mine and randys room is huge......we live together....just us 2.
i dont know what else to say except i think i might be single in a few weeks....my daddy is buying me a car finally yay?!
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[28 Jan 2005|11:45pm] |
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mood |
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 brrrreennnnnnnnttttttttttttttt |
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thank you for letting me know your alive, it means a ton to me. start coming around again. i miss you.
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| library |
[26 Jan 2005|10:23am] |
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mood |
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 sick sick sick |
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the day started at 6:30am. i cant sleep because i cant breath. so i picked myself up and out of bed and decided i need a job. PRONTO. randys dad is paying our rent this month and i feel like shit because of it. i dont do shit. actually i take that back. I do shit. randy doesnt. he has like 89 old movies he recorded and he takes them out stacks them up by the vcr and watches every sing one of them every day. it kind of eerrkkks me. and makes me want to kill him. hes lazy. he thinks he is on a break since he has been in jail for 6 months. hi my name is melissa and while you were sleeping all day in jail i was working my ass off to keep a place for us to live, now its your turn to help. im not to pleased with his attitude about finding a job. "they see felony and throw it away" he has no hope for himself. no confidence what so ever and i feel bad. when hes upset so am i.
what can a girl do?
i guess this is going to be a semi- long entry.
i do all that i can for him, i cook when he is hungry, if he was sick i would take care of him. i would drop everything for him and i basically already have. i love him so much but i honestly dont know how or why i love him. 2 years is a long time. the first year went by rocky, the second, blah, and now.....ummm were on a one way street named randy. he use to love me and call me all the time when i was gone and i love that shit. i love to feel loved. who doesnt?
im sick as a dog right now. i cant breath and everytime i attempt to eat i throw up. (and no im not pregnant)
i ate taco bell last night thinking it might help me a little bit and it did. then i came home walked in the bedroom stood by the dresser, and started to cough, that ended in me throwing up, i run to the bathroom expecting him to either follow me and ask if i was ok or grab a towel and clean it up or something. i wash off my face and come back out and he is in bed laying there looking at me like "clean the shit up" then he says "thats gross". and it was. but i feel like he doesnt care.
why do i stick around?
i dont have anywhere else to go. and i dont have the people to help me like everyone else does. everyones parents are more then willing to help their kids. but not mine. not at all. my dad says he will help me get a new car in march. very doubtful. so im here taking every step i can BY MYSELF, and i get critisized for it. i started school so i can get my diploma, so eventually i can get a rel job some day, and adams like umm melissa, i dont think school is good for youright now. THE only advice my mom gives me is "Take one step at a time and leave that loser your going to marry". ok mom well im in school, how about you let me come home. ill start working after i graduate in may. taht would be nice.
we go to oakland university and walk the stage in a cap and gown. i dont care if its late its better now then never.
i wish i had my real friends back..like dana, and amanda k, and brent, and rob,and kathy those are the ones i liked.
others act fake and piss me off.
last night when randy came to get me from school the first thing he says is "I thought i saw brent here and i thought he was coming to pick you up, i almost got out of the car and beat his fucking ass". that up-set me a little because no matter how much brent hates me or im mad at him i still wont let ANYONE say shit about him. he was my best friend after kathy, and he saved me from a lot of bad things. so anyone who has somehting to say about him SAVE IT. i dont want ot hear it.
anyway. we fought for a minute, then we fell asleep.
my lips are burninng. and i feel like im going to throw up so im going to go now. i have my u.s. government class tonight at 6 till 10 and im tired so im going to go home now. i have adams sundance! i hate this little peice.
if you read my journal i want you to comment say anything i dont care...just comment...anyone who reads this, im debating on wether or not to delete it.
thanks and bye
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[22 Jan 2005|06:45pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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"she said your not the only one but your the best bradley BOP BOP"
this song rocks
nothing new just saying hey hey hey hey hey.
jess and jon moved out. i feel less stressed.
ha
ok bye
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| so there goes another day |
[16 Jan 2005|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 i dont fuggin know how i feel. |
] |
well....this time i have a lot of stuff to say. and im not happy about one certian thing...or many things
i feel like im constantly losing friends. and i think i might be. i guess my saying has always been take it or leave it. if you dont like what you see close your eyes and turn away.
"Depression"-(insert defination here)
i think i might be. i think at some times im not. but then again 85% of my day is thinking about old times, fighting with randy, listening to music, feeling left out. and most of the time crying.
nobody see's it. and the problem is that i dont have many people to talk to about it. i have adam but then he tells people things and i dont like that.
there's Randy but he doesnt ever listen to me to understand, he hears but doesnt listen.
i feel like the only thing i can count on is this journal. i want to make it friends only but thats impossible. there are a few people i know that check up on me to see how i am. and they dont have a journal as far as i know. and to that person...the one person actually, i know your reading this. and right now i need you more then ever. i wish you were around. you made me laugh, smile. and most of all, feel like what i say matters. and i miss you so much.
i dont know what to say or how to explain how i have felt for the last few months, but adam says it like this "Melissa you have two moods, your either black or white, and i like it better when your in the white mood"
Melissa's black mood- mean, bitter, cold, upset, crying 91.78% of the time.
Melissa's White mood- Hardley ever so i am not explaining.
i hear this a lot "Melissa you were so much happier when he was gone".
i heard it before the second jail time, and i hear it now. by people that barley know me. but know me enough to say something like that.
this is the problem. i love him so much.
see i get in to these moods like im going to talk out my problems with my journal. but then i dont. like this time. i cant do it.
i miss you, you and most of all you...
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| wow |
[28 Dec 2004|12:10am] |
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mood |
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i miss you |
] |
well. randys home finally and i feel happy again.
jesse and her boyfriend jon live with me and adam...and randy.
christmas was awesome because shannon gave in and let randy come over to grandmas on xmas eve and to the big family dinner on xmas day.
i quit burger king because that place is a joke. blah
subway is fun though i have my own key and i make awesome money...i have manager status there so im doing good.....well
i paid rent today..all early and shit.
im 20. it finally came around. im no longer a "teenager" but i act like a 5 year old still. minus the frequent bed wettings lol no temper tantrums.
ummm its like mid night right now im doing my laundry at adams moms and dads house.
i guess the only things that are bugging me right now are brent...*(ill explain)* and kathy.
heres the expo for brent.
he found out i was smoking weed. i did it like 4 times. it was stupid. and i dont do it anymore. but moving on. he found out. and at the time he was laying on my living room floor watching tv with me. so he got up and started acting like he was tired. and left. later down the line rob had loaned me 100 bucks to help e with rent. so they came over to collect the money from me. so rob got his money. ahhh all i give a shit about is we actually started talking again and i dont have him anymore. i fucking hate it. everyone asks me. "why do you care so much about him" no one will ever know. because i dont need to exlpain myself. i miss him and thats that. i want to call him but i wont. if he wants me out of his life then fine. but i miss him.
"ive spent so much time throwing rocks at your window"
and for kathy.
i dont know. she comes around when she isnt with adam and that makes me feel like shit. i did her wrong and thats what i get. and it hurts. so i do all i can to not think about it.
i dont know what else to say
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| life as i know it now |
[19 Oct 2004|03:32am] |
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mood |
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 shocked |
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nothing new, ok i lied
a lot is new.
so im not going to complain about when i lived in davison. but i had no one when i lived out there. well im here right now. doing laundry. moving on.
i moved back to waterford. back to ashton pines. yes i know. ashton pines.
nothing like living in the past hah.
anyway. the first person i saw was....
surprisingly...angela s.
then kat and adam
then jesse. and ashlee. and valerie. and then i saw jesse dotson like once. weird. hmmm
oh and of course amanda rose.
my mom and i are friends again. i missed her
my biggest happy time was when i had balls to text brent and say " i have decided that you should stop hating me now and be my friend" and then he did. yeah. umm then i told him i started a bad habit and he hasnt talked to me since. so whatever. its not changing who i am. but ok.
my dana larabell is comming home this weekend so im happy again.waterford= friends...davison= no friends.
randy...god i miss him so much. i keep getting these down periods where i just want to be by myself and cry. like it will make things seem better again. im my own person right but i feel like i cant survive properly with out him. in december...well that was the plan, a trip to florida was made and we were to get married. and if you came you came if not then what the hell, you didnt come. but were going to do it. well we were going to but ummm yeah his jail out date keeps getting post poned because of his class that hasnt started yet. the later it starts the later he gets out. so far the middle of december, he is suppose to be out.
i hate falling asleep by myself. i fucking hate it.
i work non stop and in winter i start my classes at occ. yay for me.
im going to finish my laundry...bye
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| st st st stars.... |
[15 Sep 2004|04:52pm] |
nothing much has been up latley. im bored a whole lot. i got another tattoo on my arm...just a big hallow star. its nifty. i love it. were moving into a 3 bedroom townhouse. its only 620 a month. so adam randy and i are going to occupy it. anyone wanna bedroom...only serious replys haha. but i think the 3rd room will be for the computer and all of randys and adams toys. fun.
i saw michelle a couple days ago...we talked i got her cell number. she has a sweet tattoo also...lol i heard some kid i use to know has a tattoo on the back of his neck but it looks like it is supposed to be a egg with water in it. i think its his sign or something. who knows. i think it would suck to have a tattoo somone messed up on. its forever. i would kill if somone messed mine up.
adam and i saw sponge at arts beats and eats...it rocked....we were right up on the stage...like right in front. then we went in hamtramick...that was even bettter this time i brought a camera.... i was in front. adam was off the the side...i got cought in the mosh pit...i love it...i got to beat the shit out of people...then after that ended...vinnie crowd surfed i gotta hold him up..i got awesome pics of that...i have one of him and adam...i wanted ones with the guitar boys...especially the bassist...i have a thing for guitars..mmmmm...besides vinne was to fucked up to know left from right...up from down...day or night....so i didnt get my pic with him...but i had a conversation with the drummer for like 20 minutes about the show the night before...people rushed the stage and we had to wait like 40 minutes to go back up because of the assholes..but he said they had a v.i.p section for people and it pissed vinnie off so he let people go where ever they wanted.
the show was awesome.
moving on
work is work...i love it though.
my hair is growing back out.
randys permanenet out date is set for november 22nd at 3:30pm
so 20 days after i turn 20. weee.
i missed him,
im bored
wanna hang out? call me
810 654 9368
honestly i get so bored.
friday i get a 3 bedrooom townhouse for 620 a month...davison rocks my face off. yup
bye bye
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| soo nothing is new....ever |
[23 Aug 2004|06:19pm] |
im bored in davison. adam is my entertainment. i love that kid. anyway. i got to go see randy like 2 days ago i got to hug him and kiss him. he wants to put kathy on his visitation list i told him not to. i dont think she would ever go see him. but whatever. i miss him his out date is in late december or january now. blah?!
anyway
JESSE DOTSON!?
Holy crap...im jumpin fer joy here. i missed that girl but she noted me. yay for that. boo for stupid boys like jjam...
but i gotta go so bye bye
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| such a good mood. |
[14 Aug 2004|01:25pm] |
well i thought i would let you know just how much it blows living by yourself. hah. well i have had adam over every day and i love that kid hah. we went to hollister last night and bought some goodies. mmmmm hollister. then we went to buckle...oh man 98 bucks for a pair of jeans. at least their hot jeans. damn they look good.
ummmm
im in a very good mood. i dont know why. but i am. thats not wrong right. well i decided i was going to paint my stairs because they need a new coat of white paint im going to go paint my front door too because its this nasty shit orangish brownish color...ewww. white, white, white.
yeah so i found out a exciting huge turn and twist of events that i was told wanna know? see this is the thing i highly doubt any of it is true except for the part that they broke up but anyway
they are brothers...they had sex with each others girlfriends...one of those girls use to be my best friend and one of those boys is my ex.
hah
i thought that was funny..i think the only people who would know who this is would be amanda kress and kat...HAH
i knew they wouldnt last anyway hes going to college and starting a new life she is still in high school. and im not saying she is bad because actually she is quite cool and i like her a lot. and im sorry about the break up. good luck next time
moving on
i have had such a good week.
all except last night when i went tanning for 10 minutes in a level 1. oh man bad idea..all red last night...all tan today. yeah.
im listening to the best song ever....under pressure by queen...i love it
i downloaded the song goodies by peety pablo...oh man im addicted to that song.
i decided im putting certian people in my past...like my recent closest friend..ie brent. if he hates me i dont care. honestly. i have better friends. and i guess i will always love the kid..but im not stressing over anything anymore. im going to be 20 and i dont need that high school drama bullshit. ill never forget him though. never.
i talk to randy like everyday now. umm i guess he will be out sometime in october or november. either way he is serving 4 months or boot camp for 2 months but i believe its a 1 month wait to get in or something. all i know is my life is going so very awesome right now and he better change. im not sitting around like this anymore. im not being conceited but i know a few people who wouldnt mind a little bit of love lol...no honestly i dont need someone who will be in jail our entire fuggin relationship...october 13th will be 2 years...last year he was in jail for our anniversary...this year will be the same. bleh.
i miss him but i could also move on if he doesnt try to change. but i love him regardless.
im going to go paint now.
bye byes ;-P
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| inkslingers |
[08 Aug 2004|03:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 rushed |
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yeah i heard bad things but i went anyway. i only spent 50 bucks..but i got a tattoo. its a star and its on my neck..the bottom of it...top of my back. its cool. i love it, and thats all that matters...but now im hooked. i need another one. weee. i convinced adam to get either a tattoo or a peircing tommorrow because he is tring deperatly to be hot and he already is a cutie. but he is getting some kind of indivisual jap symbol or somthing. so yay for him. i love mine.
loves
<3~melissa
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| i hate people like this |
[06 Aug 2004|03:47pm] |
NIEEM12: hay baby
Col0rmep1nk84: ummm
Col0rmep1nk84: whos this
NIEEM12: your man
Col0rmep1nk84: umm no
NIEEM12: why? how old are u
Col0rmep1nk84: im going to be 20 and im taken
NIEEM12: for get u then
Col0rmep1nk84: ok then bye bye
i guess thats what i get for posting pics hah
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| wonderful |
[05 Aug 2004|02:53pm] |
Amy Lee is Love.
omg kat you must down load this song. if you havent already its by evanesence its called forgive me
oh man youll love it i know it. weeeeee
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